NOTE: Glitches happen in life and due to operator error, the Saturday Funnies have become The Sunday Funnies this week. I hope you will enjoy this …
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ILLEGAL COCKFIGHT IN LOUISIANA
The Louisiana State Police had received numerous reports of illegal cockfighting in the Abbeville area and had sent their famous Detective Boudreaux from Thibodeaux to investigate.
Boudreaux immediately began his investigation and reported to his commanding officer the next morning.
“Dey is one of the three main groups involved in this cockfight,” he began.
“Nice job! Who are you?” asked the commandant.
Boudreaux replied confidently: “De Texas Aggies, de local Cajuns and de Mafia von N’awlins.”
The commandant asked puzzled: “Well, Boudreaux, how did you find out all of this in one night?”
“Well,†he replied, “I went downstairs and saw the rooster fighting personally.
And I knew right away that Aggies was involved when a duck got involved in the fight. ”
The commandant nodded: “I’ll buy that. But what about the others?”
Boudreaux nodded knowingly. “Well, I knew de Cajuns was involved when there was a sum bet on de Duck!”
“Ah, I understand, I understand …” sighed the commander. “And how did you find out that the Mafia was involved?”
“De Ente won.”
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PRICELESS ONE LINER
* – Just burned 2,000 calories. This is the last time I’ll leave brownies in the oven while I’m taking a nap.
* – Have you ever stopped thinking and forgot to start again?
* – A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
* – I left my seat on the bus to a blind person. So I lost my job as a bus driver.
* – Letting the cat out of the bag is much easier than putting it back in.
* – Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
* – I’m not doing anything today. I started yesterday and I didn’t finish.
* – I always thought that orthopedic shoes were overrated, but I am corrected.
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ACCOMPANYING CREDIT CARD SIGNATURES
I was just signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.
She informed me that she could not complete the transaction until the card was signed.
When I asked why, she explained to me that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature on the receipt that I just signed.
So I signed the credit card in front of her.
She carefully compared that signature with the one I signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it, they went together!
What did you think you were doing?
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SIMPLE LOGIC IN THE ANIMAL KINGDOM
What do you do with an elephant with three balls?
Go with him and throw to the hippopotamus.
What did you think you were doing?
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BAD NEWS ABOUT FLORIDA HOLIDAYS
While on vacation in Florida, a man received an email from his friend that read simply, “Your cat is dead.”
The man returned home, dismayed at the loss of his beloved pet. After burying the cat, he blamed his friend for the cold hearted nature of the email.
“You should deliver bad news gently,” he said. “If I had told you your cat died, I would have sent an email that said,” Your cat is on the roof. “
Then I would have sent another email a few hours later saying, “Your cat fell off the roof and was badly injured, he’s at the vet.”
Finally, a few hours later, I would have sent a third telegram saying, “Your cat has died.”
So I would gradually prepare you for the bad news and you would have been better able to deal with it. “
“I see,” said the friend. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
With that, the man returned to Florida to resume his vacation.
Two days later, he received an email from his friend. It read: “Your mother is on the roof.”
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FATHER, WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?
A half-drunk man who smelled of cheap wine and cigarette smoke sat down on a subway seat next to a priest.
The man’s shirt and pants were stained, his hair was long and shaggy, and a half-empty wine bottle stuck out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began to read.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, “Tell me, father, what causes arthritis?”
“My son, it is caused by too much alcohol, smoking and not caring about your appearance.
“Well, I will,” the drunk muttered, turning back to his newspaper.
The priest thought about what he had said and apologized. “I’m very sorry. How long have you had arthritis?”
“I have not, Father. I just read here that the Pope does.”
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LOVE IN STRONGER THAN HAIR COLOR
A woman turns to her husband on her silver wedding anniversary and says, ‘Darling, will you still love me when my hair turns gray?’
Her husband replies, “Why not? With the other six colors, I stayed with you. ‘
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THE BEST VIDEOS OF THIS WEEK
* – Barbra Streisand with “The Way We Were”. CLICK HERE.
* – Candid Camera Classic: Nervous Tattooist CLICK HERE.
* – Honest camera classic: ad sickness! CLICK HERE.
* – Sound of Silence – Dana Winner, Simon and Garfunkel. click HERE.
* – Candid Camera Classic: Auto Answer Hell CLICK HERE.
* – Even the dog stopped to listen – can’t help but fall in love – Elvis Presley. click HERE.
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